Life After Uni – What next?

You study for three years, you get the degree that you have been working so hard to get and then suddenly you are walking across the stage and getting that piece of paper placed into your hand and tadaah you are pushed out into reality and then -… well, to be honest, then what?

Throughout my whole life, I have known exactly where I am going next, whether it was learning a new instrument or studying for A Levels, I always had an idea of what the next step would be. My own naivety took over however, when I left the University of Lincoln last September and realised… I have no idea what I am going to do next. It’s an incredibly scary concept, but I am lucky enough to be surrounded by people who support and guide me to help me figure out what I want to do, and also having people in my life who feel the exact same way!

“Don’t worry, I have no idea what I’m doing either.” – it’s always a slight relief hearing someone say those words to me, to hear that it’s okay to feel a little lost and it’s also okay to not have all the answers right now.

In another blog, I will talk about my own experiences throughout University that were quite different to the picture that was originally painted for me. Don’t get me wrong, university was one of the best experiences of my life, but there were also parts of it that were not what I expected. But that’s for another post.

The key thing here is, that I also had this expectation of myself, to succeed in obtaining a degree and then landing myself this perfect job. The silly thing is, I was never told this by anyone at university. I never had a lecturer come up to me and tell me that my dream job would be handed to me in the same way that the piece of paper engraved with my degree was placed into my hand during my graduation ceremony. I was never told by my parents that the second I stepped into the adult world, the phone would be ringing non stop and I would getting a million emails telling me another company wants me for the job. Even typing it out and seeing the words in front of me, it all seems ridiculous and immature to think in such a way. And yet, there was a part of me that told myself it would be hard work to get a job that I love, but only a part of me really believed it. You see, after all these years in education, all the late night library sessions, the random outbursts of emotion that would turn into laughter or crying, I thought that I would send an email out (two, three maybe four) and I would get the job that I wanted. I thought I had earnt it. And I have. It just takes time. Six months later, since officially graduating from University, I’m still not in my dream job. I work as a bar tender at my local pub, I’m learning to drive, I write and create my own music, I have amazing friends and an incredible boyfriend, and I have a family that are supporting me in a time where I do feel very lost. When you are sending out emails, calling companies up and trying to sell yourself to them, the constant rejection can become depressing. It’s a hard journey. Many of my friends feel the same or to me, seem to be doing far better than I feel I am. University was such an adventure. I had independence, I was able to do what I wanted, when I wanted. I held a part-time job, went out with friends and loved my degree, all whilst still being in a safe environment where money wasn’t too much of an issue, (in the sense that bills were paid through student finance, and you still had the support network from the university.) Finishing now, I have moved back home. I can no longer just walk everywhere like I could in Lincoln and I suddenly feel like a prisoner in my own house, or like I’m letting myself and others around me down, because I’m not where I feel I should be in my life. The prospect of University is sold so highly to us, but I think sometimes it is the path and what to do next, that is lacking in the support network of the University facilities and the society we live in. The comfort blanket I had during my time in Lincoln is something I completely took for granted, so I am writing all of this just to let people know that:

1. It gets easier. You will find that job, a new routine and it all becomes a lot more comfortable.
2. Everything takes time. Work and earn money but don’t feel that the job you are in now is where you will be for life. The world is at your fingertips – it all just takes time and determination.
3. Its okay to feel lost.
4. Most importantly – let yourself have a bad day. Have a day where you need to re-energise. You can feel poop about not being where you want to be but talk to someone. A friend. Family member. Anyone. It’s such a comfort when you realise others are in the same boat as you

This post isn’t about being negative or moaning about life after university. Instead, it’s to give others the realisation that this next step is really hard. It’s so easy to compare yourselves to others you see on social media, or to beat yourself up about it. It’s difficult not to feel lost or drained from the whole process. The more we talk about it, the better, so that the process of it all can become easier and better to deal with. Everything will eventually slot into place. It all just takes time, patience and hard work. Don’t give up and don’t feel alone. We all feel it right now or have felt that way at some point. There is also nothing wrong with admitting it and talking to someone. University was epic but this next step – that’s where the true adventure begins!